I know I should be positive as the picture above.
Instead of being it, I think the below picture will best describe how I feel now.
Hello there. It has been a while since my last update.
By the way, I have a new FAMILY MEMBER!
My car, which is not officially mine.
It's Myvi with an ordinary color that I not really like. But it's okay, as long as I have a car and I can go wherever I want. =DDD
Recently had been very very very very busy with my new sem, which is all 2nd and 3rd years subjects.
Nahhh, I am soooooo stressed. I am freaking worried about my CGPA.
All the companies' requirement are CGPA ABOVE 3.5 or 3.75.
Oh my gawd, its impossible for me. Seriously I am sooooooooooo worried. T^T
My average score is only second-LOWER class with no extra SKILLS at all.
God damn it.
Okay, let's put it aside.
By the way, this sem I am taking Research Method, Business Strategy, Financial Accounting and Company Law.
Research Method is frustrated but it's quite fun and excited though.
I enjoyed the process of coming out all those ideas although I am not perfect with it.
Business Strategy is sooooooooooo abstract. The lecturer is my intern's supervisor.
I don't know it can be consider good or bad. From the good point of view is that it helps me to experience challenges and fussy bosses BEFORE I get my working experience.
However, from the bad point of view is that out of 200+ students who applied for intern, 6 of them are under my supervisor. And within this 0.03 probability to have him as supervisor, I am one of it.
Funny is it? I don't know why my luck is always soooooooo !@%^!@%$ when it comes to draw.
Financial Accounting, the lecturer is GOOD enough to use 2 hours lecture time to teach us a chapter which actually needs a month! Awesome right, I doubt it.
Company law I am still okayyyyyyy with it.
Recently I keep on forcing myself to break my limits, to be perfect, to be better, to be good, to be best.
I have been looking at those people who can considered SUCCESS with what they want. It keeps on making me to think that why can't I achieve or get what I want?
Is it because the things I want is a perfect that I am not in the level to get it?
I keep on forcing myself to be perfect, tried to do everything with my best, tried to make everything to be perfect, I don't want to be imperfect.
The people around me is so perfect. I don't want to be the one who is imperfect.
I am trying my best to be perfect but why can't I do it?
I want to learn I want to know I don't want to be imperfect.
But why is it it looks so easy for others to be perfect but not me?
I have tried my best too but why can't I get the result that I want?
Why am I so stupid and imperfect?
I am imperfect at all. I don't know why but I really tried my best to be the best.
I know that there is no perfect in the world, is it because what I want is a PERFECT that noone can achieve it. If so, why is there people can do it and why can't I?
I don't want to be useless. I felt so useless, seriously, I have no skills my result is not good, I can't communicate, I am not attracting, I am not anyone, I am noone.
I want to be perfect.
Yes, I know that it's useless to bark here.
So I will end here.
I shouldn't be here if I want to be perfect.
