Life is pretty good recently, all after I changed my job. This really proved that people does matter. Working with someone you don't like or even hate is really a torture, and I am so glad that I finally did changed my jobs, though I need to go through all the hauls. But at least everything is right on track now, it's within my plan, and for this I am really happy and proud of myself.
New job did put up some challenges for me. For example, to speak English, fluently. But it's okay, that's part of the reasons I decided to come Singapore, to improve my English speaking ability. I always feel that my speaking ability is so poor, so hopefully by changing to a new environment will be able to train how I speak and rephrase my sentences.
To wear more formal and presentable is also another challenges I found. I mean I am not those who will put on make up and mascara etc etc on my face, don't even mention sunblock and etc. Ever since I changed my job, I started to put on SOME make up, and a little of lipstick, since my lips has bare color, which makes me look pale. But, I gave up putting make up, like 2 weeks ago? I mean I still put on lipstick but that's all. HAHA. I just don't like to put make up on my face. =X
Actually current job do give me a certain level of stress, in a good way. The feeling of inferior when everyone seems like they know everything. Though our life is a continuous learning journey, nevertheless I still feel a bit panicked when I saw how good other is. I want to be good, I want to improve, that's what I want now and this is very different from the previous job, where all I afraid was getting scold.
2016 is ending soon, how time flies. This year has been so-so to me as of now. I can't say that it is entirely good because its not good at all, but I can't say it's bad, after all I got a job I wanted. The good part is that I am able to get a better job and the bad part is. Yeah. A lot, which I am still taking it in bits by bits. Relationships are always pretty tough to me and always put me in a very depressed situation. Sigh.
Next destination will be CAMBODIA. Oh my god. I still can't believe that I went to Boracay this year, with all the games that challenged and freaked me out. I felt that I started to afraid of height and also seas now. I don't know how this will affect my sky-diving plan and etc. But for now I really can't take the height and sea.
To-DO before 2016, hopefully:
; A short run
; Yoga
; Better stamina
I used to listen and love this song so much, and whenever I feel so upset about you, it reminds me of this song, again and again.
"Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something that it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't"
