It's lies, It's lies. I love you. I love you.

Nahhhhhhhhh, I know I should be doing my Investment assignment but I don't care. =)
Investment Management is making me insane. =...=
Urghhhhhhh.
I am watching previous videos.
I don't know why I have the guts to do so, but yeah, I have did so.
It's still hurt, deep inside.
A wound that people left for you, no matter how hard you try to ignore it, it will just be there.
It will still hurts.
It doesn't mean that time can heal everything;
It doesn't mean that by time to time you can pretend that it doesn't hurt any-more;
It doesn't mean that it had faded and won't hurt any-more;
It's the hurt that make people growth;
It's the hurt that make people know what is exactly still happening.
I am so naive to think that I have overcome it.
I am so naive to think that it will be okay.
I am so naive to think that everything will be okay.

Memories. A word that sounds sweet but hurts. 

Memories. A bitter-sweet word.

In Heaven

It has been a while since the last post. And yeah, I am back. =)

I don't know what had happened to me for these few weeks or maybe these few months.

I am kinda lost. Yes, I meant it, I am lost.

Why am I lost? I don't know. I am in such dilemma that I don't know what can make me happy, I don't know what I want, what I am doing. I just don't know what happen to me.

Hanging out with friends? Shopping? Watch movies? Online? Read novels?

I don't know. I am totally lost now.

Maybe I have been resting for a quite long time. And you know right, once you stop and look back, you will find that what have you done for the previous days or weeks or months or years and why are you doing so.

I started to wonder why I am studying. Why am I studying so hard? It's like useless. 

I don't know what I am doing now. I tried to find something to do, I tried to fill up my time, I tried to read novels, I tried to watch movies, I tried. But what happened was I don't have the patient. 

I don't know why I don't have the patient to finish a book or a movie. I thought these things can at least make me feel better. 

It's like wasting time. I tend to use sleep to escape. I slept a lot these days. I don't know what I need to escape. Maybe the reality. Its empty inside. I know. And maybe its too lonely for years and I can't stand it.

It is hurting inside. I make me tired. I need sleeps to cure. At least in dreams I can feel better. 

It is torturing. For many times, I thought I was just making a big fuss over a minor issue. Or actually I am, but I don't know why, I am just stucked inside. I don't know why. Its okay. It will cure. It will. =) But please don't take too much time, I am running out of time.

Today I have made a mistake. A mistake that made people hate me. It's like making everyone hate me. I am done. Seriously.